Honestly; This week has been... everything but wonderful. Anything that could go wrong, WENT WRONG.
Ever since Sunday it's like life has just been "I think you could use a little wreck of this and an explosion of that." I have just sat at home thinking "Well, tomorrow can't be any worse." Yet there has managed to BE SOMETHING that breaks me down a little bit more, and eats at me, and just tears me down.
I remember sitting on my bed Wednesday night, was SWAMPED with homework and couldn't make it church. When I KNEW church was the EXACT place I needed to be. I felt horrible and defeated. I just sat there.... overwhelmed. I remember looking over the side of my bed and seeing my Bible laying on the floor. I just said "I've been reading for 5 hours. I'm sick of this." I knew it was wrong, because that's what I should've been doing.
I face planted in my bed, I just started crying. I felt so alone. In this huge hole, that I'll never get out of. I just said out loud, "God, I really can't do this anymore. I need something to happen. I need YOU to happen."
You better believe I cried myself to sleep that night. (no shame, don't act like you haven't done it)
The next day, Thrusday, it started off a bad day. (hit my toe on my dresser. Stupid pinkie toe.) Thing got worse from there. That day, for somer reason, everytime something bad happened, no matter how big or small, I kept reminding myself, "God has got it." when thing got worse, "God's light shines brighter after a storm."
Maybe to you, it sounds "dumb" but I had a totally different outlook on Thrusday. I know, God NEVER lets you weather a storm alone. Instead of focusing on all the bad things that were happening, God help me capture every thought and focus it on HIM. GOD is wayyyy bigger than ANY of these temp. problems in my life.