Thursday, August 25, 2011

Can we seriously take off the mask?

I just want to be serious right off the bat.

Number one; no one knows what goes on behind the scences in someone's life.  When you see someone, you are only seeing what they want to show you. You have no idea what is going on in their life, what storm they are facing.

"Hey, are you okay?" When we ask that question (which is rare in the first place) we all hope that the other person says "Yeah, I'm fine."  Whether we realize it or not, whenever we ask "hey are you okay", we don't realize that we actually EXPECT the person to say "yeah, I'm fine." 

The world is looking for people that actually care.  They have people who don't care, won't care, never have cared. They have people who have never told them "I love you" they have all that. What they are really looking for are people who CARE. Who REALLY care.

What if you asked that question and the person said "No. Actually. I'm not fine." What do you say then? "Oh.. I hope your life gets better soon!" or "Oh, I'm sorry."  or maybe, for once.. Respond with "Do you want to talk about it?" And don't look at your watch to see if you can "make time for them." and don't *sigh* and say "well.. What's wrong with YOU." 

People are looking for people who they can be themselves around. Be themselves, and have people that can listen and relate to what they are going through.  If we are supposing to be helping people, then we should be doing more listening than we do talking.   Ears are the gateway to the heart.  Think of all the people we could reach with Jesus, if we actually took time to hear people out.

1 comment:

  1. Well said! There is very definitely an art to listening. I use to instantly quote scriptures to every problem, and then be shocked it wasn't helpful. Part of the reason people have difficulty here is because silence can be deafening, and almost unbearable, so we end up saying things in a guessing game, and then - get no where fast. It's also is incredibly tempting to assume we know what people are going through. Listening is like tennis, you serve the ball and wait till it comes back in your court regardless of how long. I've learned to weep with those who weep and rejoice with those who rejoice, and sometimes use no words at all, or maybe just saying, "it hurts" and show some empathy in a nonjudgemental fashion. I love this blog because its emphasis is strong about caring, and caring for people takes time, which people don't "seeeeem" to have a lot of these days. What you said regarding people's expectations when asking others how they are, revived a memory of a friend who visited a friend in her last moments, in her death bed. She visited her in her hospital room, and no doubt was at loss of what she could say, and said, "hey girl, whatcha up to?" The lady answered her angrily, "I'm dying". Like you said, we have no idea what a person goes through on any given day, and we tend to be quite bothered when people tell the truth. "Just being there" is so hugely undervalued, being available can be priceless, and so can letting a person have there space. Caring doesn't mean we have to agree, or get down in the mud with people, but it does mean esteeming others better than ourselves, bearing one another's burdens, being longsuffering,and loving/respecting one another. Really Great Blog no doubt this of one of your gifts!!!