Thursday, May 17, 2012


Most people have not seen my house, never been in it, and have definitely never been in my bedroom.  for the few who have been in my room, he first thing they usually notice are all the mirrors..  Yeah, I have about... 9 mirrors in my bedroom.  I love mirrors, but not to "check myself out" but I realized that mirrors can be powerful things.

Most people say that I must really self centered to have that that many mirrors in my bedroom. That's not the case at all..   Mirrors show more than just your apperence, that person in the mirrors... That's the one person you can't hide from.  That person staring back at you is the one person who knows everything you've ever done: all your actions, thoughts, your secrets.. You can fool everyone else, but that person glaring back at you in the mirror, knows.

Through a series of weird life events, I've seen that I'm actually a really bitter person.  Extremely bitter.   I have been so.... mad... angry... hurt... (and these words seem to be an understatement.)  The only way I handled it was to lash out at people, to lash out at myself.  I was soo flustered, and I realized... they were not the problem... I was.

Over and over again, I said I forgave these people. I thought I was over it.  Things kept coming back up.  After, I realized it was actually all my fault, I had forgiven THEM.... But I hadn't forgave.... myself.  I disgusted myself.  Looking in mirrors, I didn't see myself. I saw a monster.  Maybe I was too hard on myself, I don't know.  Once I realized that I was actually upset with myself, I could face the problem.  You guys probably think I'm crazy. 

but I had to face the person in the Mirror...   and I wonder, if you're angry, or upset... is the problem really with other people? or.. Is it with the person in the mirror?